Australia
Reports
The Not-a-Week Off: Sydney to Auckland
It was supposed to be quiet week in the run-up to the Great Gonzo Blowout, so how did end up swimming butt-naked with belligerent blue bottles or jumping off the tallest tower in the southern hemisphere? It starts with a drinking binge at a beautiful wedding, travels through too many places with gongs, flies one thousand miles southeast to encounter enormous Maoris, and ends with an open challenge to death itself.
read reportFinding a Home in Sydney
Distracted by flimsy excuses for bikinis, a lifeguard tries to kill me on Bondi Beach, as if I didn’t have sharks, spiders and snakes to worry about. The local riots are history but Sydney’s Opera House is full of it.
read reportHoop Snakes, Drop Bears, and Life in Western Oz
Western Australia’s tranquil beauty is juxtaposed against extreme isolation and the diversity of its roadkill. After exploring a sleepy Perth, it’s time for a road trip to the most south-west tip of the continent, watching the oceans meet, the pelicans feed, and the feral population behave in their natural environment. Still adjusting to being a different sort of package tourist, I climb the Tree of Death and ponder snakes, sharks and arm-wrestling roaches.
read reportMelbourne: Goldilocks, Killers, and Tennis
Arriving in Melbourne, I encounter Australia’s most notorious murderer, and then kill my liver thanks to a Duck introduced by a Rat. The city buzzes with colour and life, quaint alleys with queer shops and genuine cultural oddities. After hurling abuse at badly dressed tennis players at the Australian Open, it all becomes a bit much when my bed is invaded by the Chinese. Despite the weather, Melbourne is the place to be.
read reportThe Nature of Tasmania
An island state in an island country, Tasmania is famous for its stunning natural assets, not to mention the notorious not-so-cuddly devil. But lurking underneath is a dark past, best discussed pickled with bikers and backpackers. From haunted prison cells to feral kangaroos, I explore the spectacular east coast, mountain bike down a mountain, ponder history, nature, penguins, prisons and pickled frogs.
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