Northern Thailand and the Slowboat Down the Mekong

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After nine months of solid travel, my baby called Modern Gonzo has given birth to enough experience to know that day tour minibuses just don’t stop at cashew factories unless someone’s getting a kickback. The idea of visiting this and visiting that is less and less appealing, although my day out of Chiang Mai was fascinating. Company is always key. After picking up some dirt cheap DVD’s at the night market and a few beats at the reggae bar, it was time to catch the slow boat to Laos. One of the Asia’s most spectacular adventures was about to begin.

First, a six-hour mini-bus ride to the Laos border. I’m not sure why the driver sped up every time he saw a CAUTION SHARP TURN sign. I know Thai drivers are notoriously bad, but this guy was just a cliche - an accident waiting to happen. As our gung-ho bus bulleted along sharp mountain passes, my group expanded with Canadian sisters Tara and Lindsay and Alissa (bearing an uncanny resemblance to Audrey “Amelie” Tatou) from Austria. You are never alone when you travel in high season. We spent the night in a sleepy Thai border town, waking early to cross the Mekong River, buy a Laos visa and jump aboard the slow boat to Luang Prabang. The long, narrow boat would take two full days to navigate down Laos’s largest river. The alternative was an eardrum-shattering seven-hour speedboat, which consisted of a plank, an outboard motor, and blue helmets to clutch onto when you drown (accidents are common due to rough sections of the river, dodgy boats and dodgier drivers). Minesh and I had left 16 kilograms of stuff in Bangkok, lightening up our backpacks for the weeks ahead. Amongst my ’stuff’ was every warm item of clothing I possess, so I spent the first day freezing at the back of the long boat. The seats were planks of wood, hard, misshapen, and rattling with the engine. There was more legroom in a test tube. Subsequently, day one’s seven hours along the river were none too pleasant, but that could be rescued with a hot shower and good night’s sleep. We found neither, just a bunch of piranhas.

Gonzo Gallery for Northern Thailand and the Slowboat Down the Mekong

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