Search by country or scroll below. Note: many of the reports follow in sequential order

Albania Amsterdam and Berlin Argentina Australia Austria Borneo Bolivia Brazil Cambodia Chile China Colombia Costa Rica Croatia Czech Republic Dubai Ethiopia Guatemala Greece Honduras Hong Kong & Macau Hungary India Ireland Japan (Tokyo) Laos Jordan Latvia Lithuania London Los Angeles

Malaysia Maldives Mardi Gras Mexico Mongolia Montreal New Caledonia New Zealand Nicaragua Norway Peru Philippines Poland Romania RTW Wrap-up Russia Scotland Slovakia South Korea South Africa Sri Lanka Taiwan Thailand Trans-Siberia Railroad Turkey Venezuela The West Coast Trail Yukon Zanzibar

ALBANIA

WHO GOES TO ALBANIA?
With political turbulence and no tourist infrastructure, entering Albania is like falling in a manhole and landing in Bolivia. But as I travel south through the mountains, discovering incredible beaches, castles and concrete bunkers, I encounter a warm nation of infinite hospitality, undeserving of its unsavory reputation. I also ride a donkey, stare down AK-47's, and, much to her amusement, try to milk a cow.

AMSTERDAM AND BERLIN

ARGENTINA

BARILOCHE, HANGING ON THE EDGE IN PATAGONIA
Ciao to Chile, and hello to the meat, passion and it's-a-deal prices of Argentina. Docking in gorgeous Patagonia and the holiday town of Bariloche, I raft the grade 3 rapids of an untamed river, get lost on a mountain and end up hanging on, literally, by the edge of my fingertips. I celebrate the natural beauty of Argentina, and my survival, with red wine and juicy steaks the size of Mike Tyson's forearm.

LAST TANGO IN BUENOS AIRES
Apprehensive about the hype, I arrive in the cultural heart of South America to find a universal frat party masquerading as a youth hostel, bursting nightclubs, slabs of grilled meat, dodgy strip-joints, local religion and yes, possibly the most beautiful women in the world. Adjusting my body clock for all night bingeing, I party hard with locals and gringos, until finally succumbing to sleep deprivation.

AUSTRALIA

FINDING A HOME IN SYDNEY
After escaping the four Cambodian guys who wanted to bottle my head in at the Xmas Eve beach party, I kiss Asia farewell and travel hard to reach Sydney, which is like Vancouver with good weather. Distracted by flimsy excuses for bikinis, a lifeguard tries to kill me on Bondi Beach, as if I didn't have sharks, spiders and snakes to worry about. The local riots are history but Sydney's Opera House is full of it.

HOOP SNAKES, DROP BEARS & LIFE AT THE EXTREMES
Western Australia's tranquil beauty is juxtaposed against extreme isolation and the diversity of its roadkill. After exploring a sleepy Perth, it's time for a road trip to the most south-west tip of the continent, watching the oceans meet, the pelicans feed, and the feral population behave in their natural environment. Still adjusting to being a different sort of package tourist, I climb the Tree of Death and ponder snakes, sharks and arm-wrestling roaches.

GOLDILOCKS, KILLERS AND TENNIS
Arriving in Melbourne, I encounter Australia's most notorious murderer, and then kill my liver thanks to a Duck introduced by a Rat. The city buzzes with colour and life, quaint alleys with queer shops and genuine cultural oddities. After hurling abuse at badly dressed tennis players at the Australian Open, it all becomes a bit much when my bed is invaded by the Chinese. Despite the weather, Melbourne is the place to be.

THE NATURE OF TASMANIA
An island state in an island country, Tasmania is famous for its stunning natural assets, not to mention the notorious not-so-cuddly devil. But lurking underneath is a dark past, best discussed pickled with bikers and backpackers. From haunted prison cells to feral kangaroos, I explore the spectacular east coast, mountain bike down a mountain, ponder history, nature, penguins, prisons and pickled frogs.

BOLIVIA

PUNO, LAKE TITICACA, & THE ISLAND OF THE SUN
Bidding farewell to Cusco, I travel south to the highest navigable lake in the world which sounds like a dirty word, Lake Titicaca. Killing time, and almost an eco-friendly taxi rider, I hike the condor before leaving Peru for Copacabana, Bolivia, where a stylish catamaran delivers me to the Island of the Sun to be blessed by Incan priests.

COPACABANA, LA PAZ & THE MOST DANGEROUS ROAD IN THE WORLD
After several peaceful days lounging by the lake, I catch the catamaran for the highest capital city in the world, La Paz. Overcoming paranoia and a dodgy falafel, I get adopted by a Bolivian family and party with my new sisters. Cranking the Gonzo factor, I decide to mountain bike down the world's most dangerous road, picking up a most undignified injury.

THE SALAR DE UYUNI & A TRIP TO THE MOON
Escaping Easter weekend in La Paz, I journey south to the spooky, white salt plains of southern Bolivia. Discovering a new planet of active volcanos, pink flamingos and purple skies, Modern Gonzo leaves Bolivia and enters the harsh, beautiful Atacama desert of northern Chile.

BOLIVIA REDUX

BORNEO/MALAYSIA

MONKEYING AROUND IN BORNEO
First I have to pack the emotional baggage of Vancouver, overcome post-travel depression and put plans afoot to get back in the worldeness. Then it's off to North Borneo, where the jet lag helps with the World Cup, and I can turn my attention to climbing Southeast Asia's tallest peak, rescuing sea turtles on a beautiful tropical island, and search for my Clyde at an orangutan sanctuary. It's hot and wet, but unlike the soccer, nothing to kill yourself over.

ON PREMIER HOTELS AND URBAN JUNGLES
Deep in the Borneon jungle, I float on a boat in search of infamously horny monkeys, dodging batshit in priceless caves before arriving in Kuala Lumpur to live beyond my station. Soon enough, I'm petting scorpions and iguanas, dancing next to shark tanks, dodging creepy Saudis in the spa, while dreaming of flight in tights. I ponder beauty, buffets, bastards and firebugs, all the way to the historical Malaysian town of Malacca.

BRAZIL

IGUAZU FALLS, FLYING IN RIO
Another night bus north delivers a good soaking under the spectacle of Iguazu Falls, runner up for Natural Wonder of the World. After shopping for contraband in Paraguay's notorious freezone, I kiss Argentina twice on the cheek goodbye and enter the remarkable world that is Brazil. Before long, I am partying in Rio de Janeiro, gawking at dental floss bikinis on Copacabana before fulfilling a lifelong dream to fly like a bird under the wings of a hang glider.

JERICOACOARA - A SLICE OF PARADISE
North towards the equator, I follow the buzz of Brazil's famous beaches to the remote village named Jericoacoara, where I find my little slice of paradise. Settling into a week of sun and surf, I watch magnificent sunsets while capoeira dancers somersault in the sea breeze, cruise the coast in a dune buggy and drink freshly squeezed juices in the company of beautiful strangers, now friends. There is still magic in the world - it just takes an all-terrain bus to get there. (1850 Words)

TROPICAL STORMS IN OLINDA
Foiled by strong winds and raindrops the size of manhole covers, I divert from a beachfront paradise to the fading paint of Brazil's colonial past. Encountering streets full of local colour and characters, I take cover from the storms with Darth Vader before getting intoxicated by the rythm and energy of the streets. Soon enough, it starts to feel like a Britney Spears video.

SALVADOR & MORRO de SAO PAULO
A zombie welcomes me to Salvador, the heart of African Brazil. Here, I wander charcoaled streets, staring at paint-chipped gothic churches and deflecting threats of unneccesary violence. Later, after bullriding a catamaran through a storm in the Atlantic, I find another coconut-perfect tropical island, losing a trusty friend to the power of the sea. Back in Salvador, it's mini-carnival time to the soundtrack of drums, desperation and too many she-males.

RIO REDUX & LIFE IN SAO PAULO
It's back to Rio to meet Jesus and sample the Amazon's most potent berry, stroll on Copacabana and shop for bikinis. Another party hostel sends us packing to South America's New York, the world's third biggest city, Sao Paulo. Whether dancing at an underground samba rock party or an upmarket sushi disco, I find the city likeable, livable and rewarding for those brave enough to ignore the negative hype.

CAMBODIA

ARMED AND DANGEROUS
Landing in the capital of Phnom Penh, I can't resist feeling like a revolutionary with my AK-47. This is quickly put into perspective with a soul-numbing visit to the Killing Fields, and the shocking horrors of a very recent history. But life abounds on the back of a moto-taxi, in night clubs and bizarre karaoke concerts, as well as on the smiles of the locals. To understand Cambodia now, I try to understand it then.

HOLIDAY IN CAMBODIA
Cram the ancient wonders of the world into one theme park, and you get the ancient city of Angkor. Exploring the enormous Angkor Wat and the eerie Ta Prohm, reclaimed by the jungle, I witness a trance ritual and build a special playlist for my meal in Manhattan. As the holiday season approaches, I head south to find talcum beaches that squeak when you walk. If not for the landmines, this could be paradise.

CHILE

SAN PEDRO, DEATH VALLEY AND THE COLOUR OF VALPARAISO
Narrowly escaping disaster on a mountain bike in the Valley of the Moon, I attempt to sandboard my way down Death Valley, eating far more than the recommended daily allowance of desert. After spending 24-hours with Tom Cruise on a bus, I arrive in the colourful port city of Valparaiso where I am hijacked by some Marxist revolutionaries. Fortunately, they paid for the beer.

SANTIAGO, PUCON, AND CLIMBING MOUNT DOOM
With the generosity of fabulous hosts, I hang up my travelers hat to discover the streets and history of Santiago, partying with new friends and praising God at a Faithless concert. A week later I am interviewed on Chilean TV News, providing a suitable soundbite for a stupid gringo about to climb an erupting volcano in Pucon. I hiked to the crater with my courderoy jacket, because if Villarica did blow its load, I was determined to look my best for my untimely end.

CHINA

CRUISING THE YANGTZE TO THE WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS HIKE
Ice, crevices, 1000m drops and old wooden planks, Mount Huashan is a jaw-dropping pilgrimage on a sacred mountain. If I survived, there was always kung-fu to look forward to, plus visiting the 3 Gorges Dam, cruising up the Yangtze, and getting whiplash from the incredible change in the country. Get ready for the Chinese century, it's inevitable.

CROATIA

THE DALMATIAN COAST
When everything is perfect, something is wrong. The beautiful islands in the Adriatic, described as havens for international jetsetters, are exactly that - international villages marketed to millionaires looking for sublime three-week vacations. As I age gracefully and corrupt youth on the quiet island of Vis, the larger island of Hvar sends me deep into Gonzo despair. Fortunately, I find a solution to scare away any potential murderers.

DUBROVNIK
And then the bastard shot me. First in the thigh, then in the wrist. It was revenge for my earlier killings, but that's paintball for you. Discovering the "Pearl of the Adriatic", I also discover my inner soldier, attack an ATV, free jump the walls of the magnificent Old Town, and sea kayak to a haunted island. It's an action packed Gonzo week during a full blown tourist invasion, and now I really do look like a muppet.

COLOMBIA

COSTA RICA

CZECH REPUBLIC

PRAGUE AND BEYOND
Dealing with cultural elecrocution and some nasty jetlag, I arrive in the fairytale city of Prague after playing Frogger across a US highway in stripmall hell. Drinking cheap beer and avoiding gangs of obnoxious tourists, I meet some owls and learn about life in the fledgling Czech Republic. Later I hit the countryside where I stare death in the face and slay the Green Dragon, to the disapproval of God and local farmers.

UNITED ARAB EMIRATES

DUNE BUGGIES IN BOOMTOWN DUBAI
A modern day Tower of Babel, where wealth of all nationalities gathers to build bigger, better, faster. Dubai represents extreme capitalism, an extraordinary vision built on sweat while tourists drink mocktails, surrounded by mahogany and marble. Pondering the beauty and decadance, I jump on a camel, hop in a dune buggy, visit an Indian strip-on club and enjoy high tea at the world's tallest hotel.

ENGLAND

FEAR AND LOAFING IN LONDON
It was supposed to be a report-free week, but here I am, pondering time, memory and love, drinking fountains of Pimms at a fun, summer festival, and defending myself against online racist attacks. My first visit to (hardly) London since I left it seven years ago is fueled by friends, old and new, greasy spoon feasts, Countdown on the telly, and unabashed loafing. Naturally, all this is most befitting of a vagabond.

ETHIOPIA

GREECE

ESCAPE TO CORFU
Digging myself into a southern European hole, I break the Modern Gonzo itinerary and enter Greece as the primary means to escape Albania. With no option but to spend a week drinking in the beach and sunsets, it's a change of pace and a deserved holiday at a backpacker resort. Bidding farewell to a good friend, I volunteer for shark bait and still manage a little bungee trampolining, just for good measure.

MEXICO/GUATEMALA

IT'S NOT EVERY DAY
Judging my success using a Modern Gonzo yardstick, this week I speed boat with crocodiles in deep-cut canyons, and also along a centrefold crater lake surrounded by volcanoes. Of course, it's not all fun and games on the chicken buses, or in the salsa clubs invaded by Shania Twain. But after leaving Mayan villages behind in Mexico, I enter Guatemala to discover yet another poor country offering so many riches for the budget Gonzo traveller.

GUATEMALA / HONDURAS

HONG KONG & MACAU

AUSTRIA, HUNGARY

SCHNITZELED IN BUDAPEST
The rain dampens my search for Before Sunrise in Vienna, sending me instead to the grand Viennese musuems, churches and schnitzels. Too civilized and too expensive, I depart for my last stop in Europe, Budapest. Here I spend long hours in the magnificent thermal baths before heading south to stew with fish and kayakers from 60 countries. Returning to a wet Pest, I don a jumpsuit for a spelunking adventure in Buda that soon finds me lost deep in the cracks of inner earth.

INDIA

CHERRY BOMBS IN BOMBAY, A NIGHT TRAIN TO GOA
Anxious to believe the bad stuff, I nervously arrive in Bombay to exploding cherry bombs. Festivities abound, along with colour, contrasts and sensory overload. Absorbing it all, I go under the laser before catching a night train to Hippie Trance Central in Goa, recalling the best of Brazil. A funny thing happened on the way to my Expectations.

MONSOONS AND TATOOS IN GOA
The monsoon played out like a wounded tiger, forcing me to stay put with the Mafia for company. Then paradise arrived, allowing me to bullet around the rice paddies by scooter, exploring beaches, towns, and colorful local characters. While the music may die early, Israeli special forces arrive to ensure no-one else does. Following an Ayurvedic massage, the time arrives to conquer my fear of needles and physically ensure my adventures will be remembered.

DELHI, RISHIKESH, AND THE FLOW OF THE GANGES
Arriving in Delhi's notorious Pahar Ganj backpacker ghetto, it took just two hours to find myself en-route to Delhi's underworld. Meeting an old friend, I explore the best and worst of India's capital, particularly its odors. A night bus from hell later, I go looking for myself along the Ganges, amongst temples, ashrams, holy men, waterfalls and monkeys. Enlightenment is ultimately achieved, shortly before having my buttocks fondled by a yoga class while standing on my head.

THE MEANING OF LIFE IN DHARAMSALA
After an overcrowded night train deposits me in the hands of a lovesick rickshaw driver, I am fortunately spared the effects of the tragic earthquake that rocked the region. Safely amidst the snowy foothills of the Himalayas, I discover the perfect environment to find the meaning of life, learn something about Buddhism and explore the past, present and future of the Chinese-Tibetan conflict. Fortunately, His Holiness the Dalai Lama is in town to assist.

IRELAND

THE LUCK OF THE IRISH
Sick with flu, I hop on a plane to Dublin to share the luck of the Irish. From the pubs of Temple Bar, I make my way to Belfast despite warnings of violence in the papers, smoke a Cuban with an Alaskan, party with three sisters and usher the New Year in bed with a bouncer's fiance. Dangerous.

JORDAN

LAOS

THE SLOW BOAT TO LAOS
A knockout Thai kickboxing match precedes a jungle expedition to reiki an elephant, ride an ox, unnerve Hill Tribes and suffer temple fatigue. Crossing the border into Laos, I embark on one of Asia's grand adventures, spending two days on an ass-numbing slow boat, fighting rats, opium, blackouts, and the sweet lullabye of a pig slaughter. As always, the magic of travel makes it all worthwhile.

HAPPY DAZE IN LAOS
Who would have thought this tiny, poor, landlocked country would provide the answer to the Jesus freak's trick question? Besides the temples, besides the views, it's the people that sent me flying, across rope swings, mountain passes, and riverside chillout bars. I dabble in opium, curse Mel Gibson, build a gang of eight, float down a river, drink copious amounts of beer and try a "happy" shake that lets loose the banshees.

LOS ANGELES

FLYING IN PURSUIT OF BLUE BANANAS
For two weeks, I somehow find myself chasing the Blue Bananas of experience in La-La Land, from flying in a sailplane to sailing, from hot air balloons to hot lesbians at a Superbowl party. You can choke on the traffic, but not when you see Southern California from a 1928 bi-plane, or have a dogfight in an F-18 jet fighter. It all makes for starry-eyed vintage Modern Gonzo.

IT'S A DIRTY JOB
I look at my schedule, and this is what I see: Skydiving, Paragliding, Bungee Jumping, Helicopter Ride, Pilot a Plane, Racing Course and Go-Karts, Fence with Hollywood Sword Master, Learn Defense and Disguise at Spy School, Hover in Indoor Wind Tunnel, and hike to the Bridge to Nowhere. Hence the title of this week's Report.

LATVIA

LITHUANIA

MALAYSIA

FROM INDIA, INTO MALAYSIA
There's one more challenge to face before leaving India, and that doesn't include a night in jail with cockroaches as dinner companions. My adventure to the Taj Mahal sums up India, with all its scams, characters, follies and beauty. Off to Kuala Lumpur, shocked by a modern city with no trash, no horns, and buildings straight out of Bladerunner. Further north in Penang, I visit Willy Wonka's Fruit Farm, the largest Buddhist temple in SE Asia, and come face to face with monster bugs.

KHOTA BARU & TERENGGANU
Rain almost delays play in Kota Bharu, where the monsoon season and Ramadan create a "right place, wrong time" atmosphere. Fortunately, zipping by speedboat through SE Asia's biggest lake in Terengganu produces just the thrill, along with spooky caves, natural jacuzzis, local markets, friendly guides and the sensational Malay cuisine. I ponder Bird flu, English soccer, guano, Islam and jungle parties in a lake forest, this week of wandering and wondering.

MALAYSIA/CHINA

CROCODILES AND CREDIT CARD MONSTERS
My last week in Malaysia is a zoo, which explains the gibbon, python, lions, tigers, and how I came to grab a saltwater crocodile by its tail. By the time the Colours of Malaysia parade explodes into fireworks, the world press is suitably corrupted, cowboys lose their cool, and I'm signing autographs. Magnetically levitating into China, I discover the sordid history, steamy present ,and explosive future of Shanghai.

THE MALDIVES

MARDI GRAS

MILLENNIAL MARDI GRAS MAYHEM
February, 2000. Crashing at the gothic house of a powerful Louisiana State Judge, I discover the bizarre reality of turtle soup, hurricanes and Fat Tuesday's politics. You haven't seen sweat till you see an overdressed fat kid with a tuba, walking fifteen miles across New Orleans in 90% humidity.

MEXICO

THE WHOLE ENCHILADA
My Central American adventures start in the rain-soaked snake nest of Cancun, but quickly move onto a worthy candidate for a new Wonder of the World. Quick, get your freak (or Indiana Jones) on, as we're all going to bite the big one according to the human sacrifice-happy Mayans. Although, along with underground cave swims, jungle ruins, waterfalls, and narrow gauge horse-rails, I learn there's so much more to Mexico than meets the taco.

CHINA TO MONGOLIA

GREAT WALLS, AND GALLOPING THE PLAINS OF MONGOLIA
Welcome to the overcrowded platform that is Beijing. Avoid the crowds of Tiananman Square with a drinking binge, but don't miss the spectacular 7-mile hike on the Great Wall of China. Meet your new friends in Mongolia, but beware the results of too many bottles of strong local vodka. To bid the week farewell, hit the majestic countryside, where you can gallop on horses, dress like kings, and yeehaw your way to stargazing glory. At least, if your name is Esrock.

MONTREAL

MEAT ME AT THE DELI
The largest French speakling city outside of Paris, Montreal deserves its reputation as one of the world's most happening urban centers. With an unusual wedding as an excuse, I discover the city is more about people than places, and definitely about smoked meat. Truckstop karaoke, terrorists, vicious dogs and arson aside, Montreal in another world inside of Canada.

NEW CALEDONIA

HUNTING PARADISE
"We've got a 6-gauge shotgun, a semi-automatic rifle, a bottle of vodka, a six pack of beer, 60GB of music and a new 4x4 with fat treads. At this point, we're practically a force of nature." It's an action-packed week on this French island in the South Pacific; deer hunting, spearfishing, jetskiing, turtle-munching, Gonzo cheese tasting. No better place to spend the last week of Modern Gonzo, boldly going where no travelling lunatic has gone before.

NEW ZEALAND

THE NOT A WEEK OFF
It was supposed to be quiet week in the run-up to the Great Gonzo Blowout, so how did end up swimming butt-naked with belligerent blue bottles or jumping off the tallest tower in the southern hemisphere? It starts with a drinking binge at a beautiful wedding, travels through too many places with gongs, flies one thousand miles southeast to encounter enormous Maoris, and ends with an open challenge to death itself.

THE GREAT GONZO BLOWOUT
Approaching the finish line, there was only one thing to shake up the fizz of my weary travels. Everything. Skydiving from 12,000ft, Swooping, Zorbing, Biking, Agrojetting, Rafting over the world's highest commercially rafted waterfall, an 80-degree vertical drop at the wheel of a 4x4, Bodyflying, Blackwater caving, and getting the stiff on the Maori erection myth. In the end, there is nothing to fear but reality itself.

PUTTING THE NZ BACK IN GONZO
After last week's excitement, I needed to take it easy on New Zealand's Frodo-happy South Island. Pretty soon I'm in drag, surrounded by binbag-clad half-naked girls, ice-hiking in heavy rain inside an enormous glacier, piloting a catamaran into the sparkling Tasman Sea, slugging beers, tramping in the wilderness, pondering extinctions, and cursing Norway. For the record, I looked ravishing, and my tits were as hard as stone.

NICARAGUA

NORWAY

CHASING GHOSTS IN DAYLIGHT
Taking advantage of a medieval Scandinavian law leads to a surreal gonzo campsite deep within the Arctic Circle. WWII ghosts stir up a smorgasbord of emotions beneath a midnight sun and magnificent fjords.

PERU

BEACHED IN LIMA
Twelve hours off the plane, I find myself on a spectacular beach, slugging back pisco sours and wolfing down ceviche. Narrowly avoiding waterbombs, discover the dead center of Lima and a delicious city of contrast and history. Lose the panpipes, it's time to see the real world. (2200 Words)

CUSCO & THE INCA TRAIL
Discovering the postcard Peru, I arrive in the historical capital of Cusco and quickly drown in cheap booze and good times. Suitably acclimatized, I embark on a four day trek through the Andes to the magnificent Macchu Picchu, battling altitude sickness and knees hellbent on destruction. Fortunately, I packed my corduroy jacket and look smashing.

THE PHILIPPINES

In Paradise, Life is a Buffet
Instantly recognizing the potential for travel buzz, I relish in an Asian country with Latino edge, heading south to Palawan to find my island El Dorado, sea kayak amongst limestone cliffs, dive with clown fish, explore underground caves and try and break into a prison. With so much food on the buffet, I can only bite off what I can chew.

POLAND, SLOVAKIA

POLAND - A LETTER TO MY GRANDMOTHER
My grandmother comes from a small town near Krakow, Poland. Her immediate family escaped the horrors that would befall the Jews of Eastern Europe, but most didn't. My visit to Auschwitz is sober and challenging. No jokes here, just a swell of negative energy on-site of mankind's biggest atrocity. As I look for my grandmother's house in a small town, it is a personal journey into my roots, and perhaps a lesson for us all.

ROUND THE WORLD WRAP-UP

THE FAT LADY SINGS
I wake up in my old room as if the last year has been a dream. Did I really visit 25 countries on five continents in just 12 months? Did I really meet 1126 people? Why? What did I learn? Did I get sick? Was it dangerous? Without a guidebook, how did I know where to go? It's time to answer these questions, reflect on the true nature of the world around us, and finally finish my own sentences. That's all the fat lady wrote. I came, I saw, I got bitten.

ROMANIA

MEETING FOLK IN ROMANIA
In Bucharest, I am introduced to the Hash House Harriers, a legendary "drinking club with a running problem", where I am initiated into the worldwide fraternity through beer and flour. All aboard a night train to Transylvania, where I bust some myths but meet some legends, staying in an Ethnic Hungarian countryside village to the sounds of folk music and cowbells. Cluj Napoca symbolizes the joy of travel in eastern Europe, all the way up to those flashy pink shirts.

RUSSIA

RED DAWN IN MOSCOW & ST PETERSBURG
In Moscow, you can't help but feel insignificant compared the size of the State, with its ballroom metro stations, imposing Kremlin, lengthy line-ups, and ice-cream swirls of St Basil's Cathedral. Ron Jeremy, however, needs to give the tigers a break. The final train departs for beautiful St Petersburg, a city of romance, history, and water. Finally, the vodka runs dry, the train stays put, and my three week adventure aboard the Vodkatrain comes to an end.

SCOTLAND

IT TAKES A BRAVE HEART
Without accommodation, money or the slightest clue, I attack Edinburgh for the world's biggest arts festival. Flirting with gay men for free drinks, I narrowly avoid Kylie Minogue before being rudely awoken on a park bench by a bobbie's baton. Hang on a second, those last two sentences don't sound right.

KRAKOW, SLOVAKIA, SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE
As hundreds of virgins see me off from lively Krakow, I train south to Bratislava where I find more of the same, with lots of cows. Craving Gonzo action, I Indiana Jones a 20-hour train through three countries to Split on Croatia's Dalmation Coast where I find turquoise waters, violent one-legged war heroes and an old friend. As I party under the stars at a huge beach party, Gonzo pride is faithfully restored.

SOUTH AFRICA

SOUTH KOREA

SRI LANKA

TAIWAN

ON FIRE IN TAIPEI
A new beginning, a new season, as Word Travels hits the road in for season two in the other Republic of China. After the Fire Doctor sets me alight, I eat out a porcelain bowl at a toilet restaurant, dodge cobras in Snake Alley, and live like an emperor at the Grand Hotel. Taipei 101 is not a lecture class, but you'll learn much about the country that nobody recognizes from this report.

THAILAND/LAOS

RUNNING RIOT IN BANGKOK
Arriving in Bangkok to find thousands of backpackers crammed into Khao San Road, I'm soon bursting on strong beer in the company of "ladyboys" and the full cross-section of budget travellers. Accidently holding up the King's motorcade, I visit a Vagina Circus, Buddhist temples and every shopper's heaven before catching the night train for Chiang Mai and a pyromaniac's festival of flying lanterns.

PHUK'ET IN PACKAGE TOURIST HELL
One night you're out disco bowling in Laos, the next you're on a night bus to Bangkok, and the next you're in package tour hell. Mix in ladyboy hookers, obnoxious rednecks, rip-off superstores, sticky, misbehaving weather and locals taking advantage of a tragedy. However you pronounce Phuket, it all spells the same thing - a place I really did not want to be for very long.

TOKYO

LOST IN NIPPON
After kissing Malaysia sayonora, my arrival in Tokyo is marred by the mystery of the girl in aisle 34. My Gonzo Accountant soon solves the puzzle, but Tokyo leaves me breathless. The earth's biggest urban area is packed full of fashion, culture, neon and billboards of Richard Gere. Navigating the subway system, vending machine and cultural quirks provides vintage Gonzo action, best summed up by a stripping princess.

ESROCK MEETS THE HARAJUKU GIRLS
In a bento box of modern excess and ancient traditions, I explore Tokyo's karaoke bars, magic clubs, temples, shrines and shopping meccas. When a Knight of Malta opens up new possibilities, it's time to hit the love hotels, only to be sidetracked by leather-clad Elvis's, Alice in Wonderland and the freaky Harajuku girls. Stuffed on sushi and slammed on sake, the mercury level is as high as it can get, if you can stand the pompoms.

TRANS-SIBERIA RAILWAY

ALL ABOARD THE VODKATRAIN
It takes some adjustment to living at 120 km/hr, watching the land and people transform outside a window. Aside from accidently joining an international smuggling ring, I have to deal with full bladders, armed soldiers, pitbull attendants, Russian service, and those damn instant noodles. Refreshment lay in the beauty of Siberia, particularly its waters, stars and students, but there was still plenty of time to get my ass whipped.

TURKEY

FROM BUDAPEST TO ISTANBUL
It starts with a frantic rush to the airport, reflecting on Hungarian hospitality and my adventures at Sziget, the largest music festival in Central Europe. By the time I arrive in Istanbul, led through the bazaars and dripping in sweat, I am overwhelmed by the beauty of the mosques and the friendliness of carpet salesmen. Later, I take a ferry across the Bosphorus for my first steps in Asia, admiring an ancient city where the East and West do the bellydance.

SELCUK, KOYCEGIZ, & PARAGLIDING IN OLU DENIZ
A night bus south to Selcuk, where I visit the famous ruins of Ephesus, ruined by cruise ships of tourists. The day is saved with a spring water pool in a mandarin orchard, and a charming pension with generous friends. Further south, to a lakeside town with 2000-year-old rock tombs, firedancing, and late night skinny-dipping booze cruises. A few days later, I find myself 2000 feet in the sky, paragliding above the Mediterranean while learning the true meaning of the word "breathtaking".

CAPPODOCIA, GOREME & ANKARA
Welcome to the land of fairy chimneys and troglophytes, a truly bizarre landscape shaped by time for dirty minds to run amok. After exploring underground cities and the penile rock forests of this alien world, I decide to investigate Modern Turkey by visiting its capital Ankara, developing a delirious fever in the process. Once again, the kindness of strangers saves the day as I begin to understand what East meeting West truly means.

AMASRA, THE BLACK SEA and RETURN TO ISTANBUL
North to the Black Sea and Amasra, a lovely little town off the tourist track, well deserving of its sleepy reputation. Slamming on the breaks, I watch the storms blow in over Byzantium ruins, chase some chickens and eat large salads. The days slip away fast, so its back to Istanbul to get dizzy watching a Dervish, unsuccessfully haggle at the Grand Bazaar, and draw the curtains on a wonderful Turkish adventure.

VENEZUELA

WEST COAST TRAIL

LEGENDS ON THE WEST COAST TRAIL
Chuck Norris approves of this infamously tough 75km trail along the Graveyard of the Pacific, where real men (and possibly more women) challenge themselves crossing muddy creeks, 80ft ladders, eerie fog and slippery logs. Join me and six friends for the summer's final adventure, alongside wolves, bears and cougars, bonfires and painkillers, park babes and burgers. Legends are born on the West Coast Trail.

THE YUKON

ZANZIBAR

THE SPICE OF LIFE
Once the center of the slave trade, Zanzibar is a magnificent tropical island off the coast of Tanzania, where spices rule and opulent sultan palaces crumble beneath the weight of African dreams. Freddie Mercury, vampires, the Mafia, pan-fried tropical fish, it's all here.