Happy Daze in Laos

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Luang Prabang is a town in north of Laos, the religious center of the country. I arrived at dusk and was jolted by the pace. The lack thereof. Our group of eight walked through the night market where women sat by their colorful bags and cloths, chattering amongst themselves, or sitting back peacefully, playing with their children. No one yelled at us. No one tried to sell us anything. We walked along the narrow market path, marveling at the quality and price of the goods on offer. We were fresh meat with backpacks, and yet the starving masses were leaving us alone. Could these people actually respect our right just to be? The Thais sure didn’t, in fact, not many people in third world countries do. The tuk-tuk drivers descended on us like mosquitoes, but even they took “no” for an answer. A few minutes away, in a lush, paved neighbourhood, we found a guesthouse, handed in our laundry for 80c a kilogram, and investigated the rumour that Lao beer, named Beer Lao, is amongst the finest in the world. The French influence is heavy in Laos, being a former French colony, and a French businessman setup the Beer Lao brewery with the very latest technology and brewing techniques. Beer Lao lives up to its reputation, which is why every traveller you meet in Laos is wearing a Beer Lao T-shirt. A big beer costs $1, about the same price as a T-shirt.

The locals appeared extraordinarily content with nothing, an attitude that seemed to rub off on travellers too. Waiting over an hour for a salad, it’s just impossible to get upset with the guy in the restaurant because he won’t quit smiling. I always got the impression that if he could serve the food for free, he would. There is something tangibly beautiful about the people of Laos, most clearly evident when you see children playing in the streets. Their greeting of “sabadee” is yelled out with such enthusiasm it can break your heart. This innocence and warmth is all the more touching when you consider the violence of Lao history. Half the country is waiting to explode; the US bombed the countryside into oblivion, in secret, for nine years (at a cost of $2 million a day), a civil war followed, a communist government still runs things into the ground, drugs are illegal yet rampant. There is little industrial development, no railways, the state controls all media, and the national highway is as smooth as a bowl of rocky cornflakes. This was weighing heavy on my mind, so it was time to chase the dragon.

Like sex-tourism in Thailand, narco-tourism is strongly discouraged in Laos, but many people come here for exactly that. In Colombia or Peru, you can buy grade-A cocaine for as little as $5 a gram (in New York or London, it can cost as much as $160 a gram). Laos is part of the Golden Triangle that supplies most of the world’s raw opium, later refined into heroin. Opium itself dates back 6000 years and has been used as a powerful medicinal agent ever since, primarily in cocktails like morphine. Quite simply, opiates take away the pain, but due to their highly addictive nature, quickly bring it back, and then some. Still, opium has inspired famous writers for centuries, and if Conan Doyle could puff the magic dragon, why can’t Modern Gonzo? Although I had moved out my first guesthouse to escape screeching early morning roosters, the friendly young manager had offered to procure us some sticky opium resin, and quickly fashioned us a bong with a water bottle, tin foil, empty pen cartridge and candle wax. We sat around taking hits while sweet smelling smoke filled the room. Although I got a slight buzz, after several inhales I saw no dragon to chase, and soon enough we had smoked all the black gunk. Somewhat to my relief, my experience with opium did not lead me to some wet, back alley, where a leathered, hairy guy named Chang is ready to fill my pipe. But if opium is so addictive and widespread, maybe that’s why everyone in Laos is so happy. I would investigate my “happy” theory later. By the way, in the United States, many hemp products are banned, but you can still buy a bagel with poppy seeds.

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