Cowboys and Heli-Fun in the Rockies

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Part Two: Heli-Yeah!

Take any activity, and add the word “heli” in front of it. Doesn’t it sound just hella-cool! Heli-hiking. Heli-dating. Heli-flossing. Heli-ping pong. You just can’t go wrong. With the help of a company called Icefield Helicopter Tours, I was about to get my heli on, and one of the best places in the world for any heli-action has to be the Albertan Rockies.
Driving west on long, straight roads, we pass small towns and dozens of pump jacks, extracting the oil that drives the province’s economy. Almost running out of fuel, we stop in a small town where a beef jerky shop has 27 flavours of processed, dried meat. Once we arrive at the foothills of the Rockies, I am awestruck at the massive icing-sugar tipped mountains. We’d be spending the night at the famous Chateaux Lake Louise, one of Canada’s oldest and most famous hotels looking out over one of Canada’s most beautiful vistas. In summer, the turquoise glacial colour of Lake Louise makes it the perfect postcard photo, while the hotel, originally built by the Canadian Pacific Railway in the early 1900’s, is a flagship of the luxurious Fairmont hotel chain. Surrounding Lake Louise is the UNESCO World Heritage Banff National Park. Simply put, the emerald lakes, mountains and forests make this one of the most beautiful and pristine places on our planet.

Heli-Namaste

I’m driving our 15-seat passenger van, hauling ass along a valley road. Not one car passes us in over an hour, and the slight bends and long straights seem built for the super sports cars I’ll soon be driving in Italy. We threaded the needle again, a clear, partly cloudy day that will allow us to truly experience, and show off, the might of the Rockies. The following day, we’d be caught in a whiteout snow blizzard, but not this day. This is my heli-day. To anchor this story, we found an activity that will have people scratching their heads (and hopefully editors chomping at the bit). Heli-Yoga. Hell yeah!

Our heli-yoga instructor is Martha McCallum, a certified hiking guide, wildlife biologist, wellness coach and hatha yoga teacher. She vibrates with the sort of serenity I find in most yoga teachers, a calm steady voice laced with refreshing hints of optimism. Martha is aware of the fact that combining jet-fuel powered machinery with earthy, spiritual exercise is a dichotomy of sorts, but rejoices in the fact that Icefield’s helicopters are bringing people closer to nature, literally. Not only can you access the most remote of areas, the helis come and go leaving not a trace of their visit. We sign our waivers, plan out a shooting schedule of sorts, get briefed on the basics of heli-safety (see, even safety sounds cool), and climb in the back of a Jet Ranger. No jumping out the door (“or it will be the last time you jump out of anything”). Keep strapped in until Martha “invites” us out, keep low, make sure there’s nothing loose around to blow into the rotors. Ralph Sliger is the sharp quicki-with-a-quip owner and operator of Icefields, our guide in the air just as Martha is our guide on the land.
I heart helicopters. This is only the third time I’ve had the opportunity to ride in one, and each time I love it more. Even though the wind was blowing us around a fair bit, the flexibility in the air and the sight lines make you feel like you really are floating. We fly over the national park, which prohibits landing, and after some sensational whirlybird eye views of the scenery, land gently on a spot called the Wedding Knoll. If you wanted a heli-wedding, this is where Ralph would take you. It’s also the perfect spot for a bit of yoga, a clearing surrounded by snow, 2700m high, completely embedded in nature. Martha leads us on a session, while Sean leans out the second heli, harnessed in of course, to get some aerials. It’s the first time we’ve ever used a helicopter on the show and I’m hoping the results are amazing. The wind gusts as I pull a downward dog, a warrior pose, a tree pose, and while I’ve done plenty of yoga before, for the first time I seriously enjoy the stretches. It’s medicine for my tired and stiff ex-cowboy muscles.

We have to improvise when it comes to the heli-snowshoeing activity, since the snow is melting and we still sink to our waist. We hike up a small peak where the wind is so intense I can fully lean back without falling. It’s as if we’re hot pizza and the mountain is blowing on us. Or I could call it nature’s blowjob. Exhilarating stuff, the cold, fresh wind-blasting the magic of nature right through me. Neil snapped a lucky shot of me jumping in the wind, and the photo is captures everything.
It’s a real shame that helis are so expensive to fly and maintain, because otherwise it would be my ideal choice of travel. We hit a few more spots in the canyon, including a thrilling low altitude meander up the river, straight out of the 80’s TV show Airwolf. I couldn’t get enough of it. By dusk, we’re eating Alberta’s other gift to Canada –perfectly grilled steak – and enjoying the views at the nearby Mckenzie’s Ranch. Laurie McKenzie, who hosts tourists throughout the year, tells me she loves the living out here, even if the population is about 8.

Even though I had never visited the Rockies before, I confess Alberta wasn’t my first choice for our third Canadian-based episode. It just seemed too accessible, an adventure I could do one day when I’m tired of all the hectic travel. Word Travels gives me the incredible gift of sponsoring my journeys, and I know there’s no way I would have enjoyed the Rockies the way I have the last week without an audience of both readers and viewers to impress. In one week, I’ve packed in a cowboy adventure, stayed in fine hotels, and soared in the mountains. I’ve also met some terrific folk in a land where everyone seems to own their own Gonzo Hat. I know I’ll be back, and when I do, you might want to lock up your pregnant cows.

23 April, 2009
Room 2125, Hyatt Hotel
Calgary

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